Conversations with an Unappreciative Cat.

Conversations with an Unappreciative Cat.

Cat: *strolls through front door*

Me: Oh there’s my little boy! Where have you been, my handsome fellow?

Cat: Meow.

Me: Ohhhh, you’ve been battling Teleporting Cat today, have you? Who won? Did he hand you your arse again?

Cat: Meow.

Me: Don’t you worry about that fluffy jerk. You’re still king of the hood. Come inside with us.

Cat: *rubs against my leg*

Me: Oh you’re a lovely boy. Why are you being so friendly? What are you after?

Cat: Meow.

Me: You want your Turducken, already? It’s a bit early yet!

Cat: *rubs against my leg*

Me: Oh okaaaaay, you lovely little gentleman, you can have your Turducken. Chicken or fish today, old mate?

Cat: Meow.

Me: Excellent choice, chicken it is!

Cat: *eats turducken*.

Me: *feels bonded to animal*

Cat: *wanders out of laundry, heads to front door*

Me: you can’t go out, mate. It’s getting too late in the day. Come and have a pat.

Me: *picks up cat*

Cat: *bites me, then runs and hides under the bed grooming himself*

Me: you are SUCH an arsehole. You’re so bloody lucky I didn’t leave you at the pound, you jackass.

Cat: *stares at me*

Me: Okay, okay, you know I didn’t mean that, my handsome little boy. I would never leave you at the pound. Just watch your manners!

Cat: *resumes grooming his butt with vigour*

Me: *sigh*


Surely I’m not the only one who has full-blown conversations with their pet???

Big love,

Rysie (the crazy cat lady).

2 thoughts on “Conversations with an Unappreciative Cat.

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