A couple of days ago, the Girl Child approached me with her iPad to show me a video she was watching.
I sat down next to her, expecting the standard Anime, or slime making clip, only to be confronted by a fresh-faced, beaming mother, cutting sandwiches into shapes as she created themed lunch boxes for her children.
I watched with bemusement rapidly spreading across my face as the Girl Child peppered me with questions.
“Will you buy some twiggy sticks for my snacky?”
“Do you know what ranch dressing is? Can we get some?”
“What about ham? She made ham pizza scrolls – maybe you could make me those, and cut them into hearts? Or, dinosaurs with googly eyes?”
When did play lunch become a “snacky”??
The ranch dressing she’s begging for has been offered to her on multiple occasions, only to be met with a screwed up face –until old mate on YouTube starts dipping celery into it. Which, in case you were wondering, the Girl Child has also refused to touch until this very moment.
It will be a cold day in Hell before I attach googly eyes to a sandwich (dinosaur shaped or not).
Did I just get parent-shamed by my ten year old????
Look, I’m down with mixing up the lunches a bit. As they say – variety is the spice of life. The part I find really interesting, is that for the past, say, nine and a half years, I’ve been offering this kid choices. There was a time in kindergarten when I really did cut the damn sandwiches into shapes….that she didn’t eat.
For the entire school year thus far, unless the lunch option was cooked chicken strips in a wrap, it was no deal, no dice, no thanks.
Yet now? It’s DIY love-heart pizza scrolls because a pretty mama in an instagram kitchen has stolen my kid’s heart.
I can’t help but to reflect on my own lunches growing up – day in, day out, a vegemite sanga, a whole orange, and a couple of biscuits – done! You want the fruit peeled? Peel it yourself! Don’t like the sandwich choice? Make yourself another one! Got any complaints about what’s on offer? SUCK IT UP.
I asked the Girl Child if this lady was a real person, and if she really had kids, or if they were all paid actors. She looked at me like I was crazy.
Hot Husband suggested I was projecting my own issues into the lunchbox arena. So, I asked Hot Husband how much time he’s ever devoted to creating themed snacks.
Unsurprisingly, you could hear the crickets chirping in the silence that followed.
Anyway, I’m trying to put a positive spin on the whole thing, by acknowledging that this may be a gateway into convincing the Girl Child to try some new stuff. And maybe there’s something to it.
Yesterday, she took a banana to school, and ate it (although she usually hates banana, she was digging a yellow food theme 😳 ). The gingerbread-shaped peanut butter sandwich, that she’d usually turn her nose up at, was entirely eaten. The lunchbox came home empty.
So, somehow despite my better judgement, I’ve somehow become a mother that cuts sandwiches into shapes first thing in the morning, while considering the colour spectrum of the food on offer.
SEND COFFEE AND MAKE IT LARGE.
YouTube, you have a lot to answer for.
I swear to God, if you see a googly eye in that lunchbox at any stage, you guys need to drag me off to an asylum, okay? This shit is whack.