The Myth of the Good Baby

Two new parents, and a brand new baby.

They’re exhausted, and like every set of new parents ever, fumbling their way through the first days of newborn life.

Have I done the nappy right? Is he latched properly? Why in God’s name is his poo black?? Support the head!! Support the head!!

As they’re working their way through all of these unknowns, along comes the inevitable question:


Nothing makes my teeth grind more than this question. I WISH someone would answer this one day with:

“Oh, no actually, he’s a juvenile delinquent. He’s been running an International Drug Trafficking Ring from the inside – we’re just off to face court now”

Or maybe:

“Nope, he’s a jackass. He came out, looked around, criticised the decor and the menu, and demanded a refund. Worst baby ever.”

But of course, when your brain is mush, answers like that don’t come easily. So, we just nod along, and say yes.

Of course, the question is referring to sleep. And at two days old, I’d be fairly confident in suggesting that little Archie is sleeping like a baby – that is, in short bursts, interspersed with crying, and feeding, shitting and burping.

Which in my eyes, makes him a very good baby indeed.

He’s a newborn. There are going to be days where he’s an absolute dream. There are going to be days where they’re convinced he came directly from Satan himself, and they’d willingly had him over to the postman if given the chance. And there are going to be lots of days in between.

And just when they think they’ve got that baby figured out, there’ll be new developmental leaps, and teething, and fevers, and tantrums. And through all of that? He’ll STILL be a good baby.

Newborn babies do what they’re biologically programmed to do. They cry for food, for comfort and security, and when they’re in pain. They seek out their parents to provide what they need. They do it A LOT. It’s NORMAL.

This kid doesn’t know he’s a Royal, and he’s supposed to behave with decorum. The only thing he knows is that he’s now in a whole new world that is nothing like he’s familiar with. So, like every newborn before him, he’s going to go off like a frog in a sock until he figures it all out.

Because he’s a GOOD BABY.

Big love,



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